Exit Strategy

First off:

Rupper. Ben. Horses. Bridges. Sewers. Alien tentacle hentai monsters. Hormonal teenaged boys. Crows. ... yeah, that's about it.

All of those things? Right up there? They share the basic common idea that I hate every single one of them right about now. A hate that's... ok, I can't hate Rupper. He's too charming in a laid-back stoner way. And Ben's a brother-in-law who's really hot, but so family-like you really can't get interested.

...his daughter on the other hand. Hmm.

I'll back up a bit and explain that our escape from the sewers was basically the plot to some demented hentai manga that Wuyi will swear she never reads, but that she does, and I've stolen a look from. After Fabio led us a little badly, we followed Tal's insistance to go with the flow, so to speak. Rupper had takena  side-trip to mingle with the muggles and catch up on news.

Yeah, no, we weren't going back tot he ship. Even if it was being surrounded by the National Guard. We JUST left it.

Sewer ends in a waterfall of disgusting down into a large basin. Over the chasm is our ticket to freedom. Only problem is there's no bridge. Ben dives into the basin to lift up the bridge and holy hell I know we're the children of gods but it still sets me back whenever any of us do something amazing. Wuyi leaps to the other side waiting for Ben to lift the bridge so she can force it into place and Sawu, the evil spider, is right there helping her.

And suddenly, as if they knew there was a cute, teenaged Asian girl right there, a tentacle monster pops up and there's no damned way we can get the horses across with it being able to move freely in the water-- even if Tal's throwing fireballs at it, I can't risk any horse getting hurt... so I jump.

I freeze the water as soon as I can and rush to the side, demanding Ben to pick me up as soon as the last horse is over and he can drop the bridge on the frozen... creature.

I wash quickly after that, turning the caldroun of water Wuyi thoughtfully cummoned into a fountain. I strip and bathe. Ben does too. The rest just wash off the basic grime but I want to never talk, or write, about what I just went through.

To get out of the sewers, Wuyi and I bribe a boy with hot girl on girl action and breasts. It's... not even worth mentioning that Ben thought learning how to handle guns was any comparison unless ---*there's a break in the writing, then something hastily scribbled out*

If I write it, Tal will sense it and I'm NOT going back to fighting with her. I'm trying to not fight with Kelly, which is kinda funny because she's using Ben as some sort of shield and Tal, of all people, is geting jealous of Kelly, who I know Ben sees as a daughter and it's all... hah. Glad it's not me!

So, out in a parking lot, I'm arguing with the boy and I snatch his phone. Too late to prevent Wuyi and I from lighting up the porn version of youtube. I demand royalties. Ben and Rupper pick a fight with these gangbangers who are messing with an old woman pushing a shopping cart around.

The crow's vanished, and I'm accusing Wuyi about the bird lying to her and she gets this crestfallen look on her face when I jest about no sex for a week when the damned crow comes back, saying his delievered his message. Liar. Pepper said he only talked to the bag.... lady.

Yeah. Right there was when some residual memory trickled back about the Morrigan being known for disguising herself as an old woman. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it all when Rupper gets the boys to strip and bolt. I go to grab too-big jeans and a hoodie when that voice starts to speak.

I don't need memories for my body to react. It just knew. Turning around and seeing her again only made it worse, as... well, in the eyes of Fate I had to reclaim that notch on the bedpost for my, ah, portfolio of conquests. I looked forward to it.

Her and Ben talked strategy. She informed us that her, Tal's Father, Susan-o and, oh bloody hell I forget the fourth general were the generals of the Overworld War against the titans. We finally got some answers as to why we were dead in the Underworld of the Greeks and partly why they were mad at us. The Aesir were being cowards -- which is odd -- for them at least.

Our next few steps were laid out for us and all during this Wuyi's puffing up territoriality, glaring at Anann like she was some demon from hell and it's flattering but unnecessary. Anann mentions that part of her plan has us becoming villains to quite possibly serve as a distraction until the real plans fall into plan. There's a prophecy too.

I hate prophecies. I really do. And being ignored, even if it's politely done.

And all during this, she's being polite, cordial even -- even the mention that she's been keeping an eye on us since we came back to life (and that's creepy-hot. More creepy.) sounded like they were exchanging opinions on the weather when Wuyi finally demanded what I had been asking: about my memories (which are needed.)

Again, like they weren't discussing anything more serious than the weather, Anann gives her terms. Me. She wants me back. Completely.

Fuck.

Shadow Broker

I'll remember the next time I'm in the middle of a fit, that I'll set down the pen and paper and go for a long, long stroll through the nearest brothel to clear my head. Maybe share a drink or seven with the girls and try to remind myself with the drink that ripping apart small children is not an effective way to cope with tragedy, although it was a delight while it lasted.

At our next real rest stop, I'll snatch up a nearby cute and fluffy animal and present it to Kelly and gain forgiveness. Or let the evil spider murder it. Whichever works.

Fine. I'll say it. I'm rambling about bunny rabbit presents and whores because I'm trying to push away the memories of the past and the fact that evil smiling guy who hit on me not ten minutes after learning that my mother was dead was NOT, in fact, eaten by the sharks as I so desperately hoped for. Oh, and the fact that Tal's pregnant.

And that we've signed ourselves over for a 'to-be-determined' task in the future to some creepy Shadow Broker.

OH! And the bloody fact that my life's memories have become a series of porno flicks for Tal's dad, Rupper's dad, and my ex -- is it ex? I hope we parted well. We should have, I mean, I -died- and that really can't be held against me. Right?. From hence forth, they're known as the League of Perverts and I need to sit down and figure out who's parent I have NOT slept with yet.

Oh, and all of that is to cover up my annoyance that Wuyi rebelled, on all things, over feeding a grimly, ugly little minion of the Keepers to my horses. We had just removed them from the ship and they were looking peakish and we could have talked about the flesh-eating-fillies BEFORE the unloading at the dock.

Ugh. Regardless, creepy-smiley-man, who I still need to get eaten by something got us out of the Formorian docks and into the sewers. Where we wound up talking to the Shadow Broker and from there.... learned about the League of Perverts and came to the conclusion that it was about time we called on the gods that held our memories and start gaining some powers back because if we were... if we were young gods when we died, and that didn't stop the keepers ... we need to get back that strength and more if we're going to do it this time.

Also. Sex is sewers? NOT. COOL. Ugh, I reek.

All right, looks like everyone's trudging back. Might as well go find the boy-minion, and pray to the raven so I can submit myself to yet another god to get my life back.

This. Fucking. Sucks.

Thunder Rolls

I don't even know where to begin discussing the events after my Father restored us to life. There's ... so many small intricies that weave together to form one large convoluted knot of ...something. I should start from the beginning.

I spent that day, for the most part, with my Father learning about the horses. When he decided it was time, we went into the barn to question the ghost of the formorian. Everything was tense... but workable for the moment. Between Kelly, myself, Rupper, and Wuyi we learned that the formorians were the Keepers controlling the major governments at the time, and that they were working on alliances with other pantheons, the aztec included.

If Tal or Ben had been there, instead of off dicking around, we could have learned more but that's bygones. For when everyone left to head inside for food, Wuyi cornered me concerning Tal and after that fight was somewhat managable Tal herself came in and it was... again... all about how -I- betrayed -her- and I should be begging for forgiveness and -- in the end it was far too emotional to deal with, so I didn't. I didn't want to deal with whatever insanity Tal thinks I imposed upon her. Sleeping with her father was an impluse that had nothing to do with her and I don't see the comparison to her past. No matter how cruel a past that it was.
That completely at a stand-still, Wuyi and I talked some more and at least one thing in my new life went right as she forgave me.

Then it all went to hell. I... it's hard to write it on paper without wanting to hurt something. Someone. Ben. If he hadn't made her, if he hadn't of bound her in that shell of naviety and innocence, then this wouldn't have happened. I wouldn't have died. I wouldn't have ...

I'll get straight to it. Mona's... dead. Gone. Kathy killed her, though from her pleas, she didn't mean to. She called me on the reward I promised her and even through my own wants, I knew that a Tuatha never broke their oath. So I didn't. I rewarded her with the gift of life. With the 'honor' of becoming my sister in the eyes of fate and family.

Then I left the island.

I dragged down our box of relics and we were met by some smiing strange man who eyed me like a piece of meat and I wanted to slam his face into the hull for the thought.

I didn't know how to process Mona's death. I still don't. It's some ball of lead that's sitting in my chest and I'm trying my best to just... ignore it. But it's hindering everything. I screwed up making that deal with our benefactor. It was sex for.... abslutely nothing that he adn't told us before. Sure, Kelly got a memory out of it but... it reminded me I needed to keep distant. I couldn't treat life like I did in the Elysian Fields.

Of course, before I could even process -that- ... Poseideon, the fuck, decided he'd get his free lick in and tried to drown us. I put everything in shielding us from the main force of the tsunami and Kelly's sand wall helped too, though it was exhausting and my arms shook from the force. I wasn't like the others, I didn't have ichor coating my muscles to make me stronger. It left me bruised and exhausted and of course.... of fucking course the boat started to sink.

Why wouldn't it? I mean, nothing else had gone right today. Mother's dead, Sea-God killing us, Sex-Deal gone wrong... now a boat sinking in the middle of the ocean with sharks waiting to swoop in. Sharks.

Right. Well, although I was feeling like I'd want to go punch something to keep from crying, I stripped and jumped in the water to keep the sharks at bay. I don't give a flying seagull that Tal thinks she's the speediest runner, she was in MY element and needed my help to get us through.

We connected with a ship and... one moment. I need to go ... not write about this.

......

I'm sorry. I had to step away. I, well, after some havoc getting aboard and a discussion with the captain, Rupper, Wuyi, and I chased after Rex and we decided to look in the cargo hold of the ship. That went... terribly.

I had a guard seduced, ready to listen to my whims when a ghost walked through him and startled me. No. I won't lie on this. Scared me. Scared me enough that my commands went haywire and affected the ghost, not the guard. Shaken, I returned to the cabin and aided Ben in crushing the spirit of a poor girl caught up in a mess way too big for her. I enjoyed it too, the interplay between him and me and I rode that high to crush down all the fucking lows I've been through that day and took it all out on Kelly.

Fucking Kelly.

For the most part, she's clueless. Bumbling around and hoping for the best from every situation and the good from everyone. It's her fault Mona died. Hers! If she had just stayed in the damned kitchen, she could have caught Kathy before the accident. If she had just stayed out of mine and Tal's fight because that was none of her gods-damned business she could have protected my mother.

But no. She was Kelly. Implusive. Rash. Always wanting to make things worse and of course, it happened again. She tried to lie about it, but no one bullshits me and no one bullshits Ben. I cornered the girl into a chair and proceeded to... well... it felt good. As long as I was tearing her down, I wasn't feeling down myself. I didn't even care about the crewmember killed. Mortals die when we're around. I cared that she lied. Again. She just fucked off again.

And she didn't give a damn about what her actions cost us. AGAIN.

Ben pulled me away before I could really cause trauma, though, and we went down into the hold properly and I saw... the most majestic horses to ever stride the earth. They were beauties and they were predators. Deadly, wonderous creatures that I had to make mine. I ignored the others in favor of a stallion that shamed any mundane horse. We spoke at length, well... I praised and flattered and he preened and soaked it like a sponge.

In the end, I allowed him to take us into his herd with me as his equine... ah... equal and as our first act, they tore apart the jailor that was fattening them and our foals for the fodder of the formorians.

There may be trouble with the captain, of course, but if social bribery won't protect us, then the hooves and fangs of my herd will.

Interlude

I took this after my talk with Father. The rest of the Band wasn't around and I felt like still having some alone time with my own thoughts. I'm reading and re-reading Father's notebook in preparation for our next talk later. Hopefully with less revelations.

I know the talk recently has been shucking off one's old fate, and I know that we've been using that for Kathy's rehabilitation but what if Tal's view is correct? You can't change evil, or callous, or fate, or whatever you want to say makes you what you are. She says it's Kathy's fate to become whatever she is/was.

Does that mean that I'm going to revert too? Now that I have connections and faces and words linking the whats of my personality to the whys, will I fall back into being that mouse waiting for the hawk to swoop in and claim me? Father said she twisted fate for me, and was after me for years. What if whatever she did is ingrained and I can't escape it? Much like Tal's harping on about Kathy.

I know I will strive to the best of my ability to make sure that Father is always proud of me, but beyond that? I think I've already made my choice. I chose the geas over Tal's needs. I chose it over Wuyi even though right now Wuyi's more than happy to come along for the ride, so to speak.

If Tal is right, and every choice we make concerning Kathy leads to the same fated conclusion, just with a different path to get there ... then I guess I already know the answer.

Pity.

Wild Horses

We, well Ben, Tal, and Wuyi carried Enbarr back on a slab. Rupper stayed behind to tend to Cerberus for a while longer. After we returned to the cottage, Wuyi remembered that Kathy was on the beach so Kelly and I agreed to go with her to collect the girl.

I went mostly so I wasn’t alone with the married couple. Even a harmless joke to Ben about always listening to the wife got me a glare from Tal. Apparently just breathing was enough to annoy her now. Whatever. I needed to cool off so stayed quiet on the approach to the beach.

Of course, it wasn’t as simple as “find Kathy building a sandcastle, collect Kathy, go back’. She was missing and after Kelly and Wuyi spotted tracks, we landed in a field where I could smell pipesmoke and the most beautiful music was just out of range. Before me the air shimmered like a summer’s day and without a glance to Tal’s arrival (really? REALLY? For the love of the Ocean, hound me here too?!) I stepped forward onto a fairy ring dancing the night away and after the host greeted us; I really stepped forward onto the fairy ring to dance the night away.

I don’t recall anything but the music, Wuyi beside me, and the wisps swirling around until the music stopped and howls were cresting the ridge. Wuyi grabbed me and Kathy, Tal snatched up Kelly and we moved light lightning to get out of reach of Cerberus’ jaws. Behind us a lone brownie trapped near the dog just… started to toot on his bottle and it bloody worked! Cerberus fell, snoring, and the poor fairy was left there to just keep blowing.

At home, the fight over Kathy reared up again. Wuyi, Kelly, and I wanted to take Manannan up on his offer and raise her, like he did with me. Tal was against it, of course, Ben naturally sided with her, and Rupper went with them. Stalement. The usual.

Then Tal went and called me a whore. Well, to be fair, she called Wuyi a whore, and selfish and Wuyi isn’t either, but everyone in that room knew that those comments were directed more at me. So it escalated from there. I know the men tried to ease the tension but after Father mentioned that the curse on Ben would be lifted after a good amount of attempts, I couldn’t help myself.

I casually told Wuyi that now Tal would have to whore herself out to break the curse and that just set Tal off. I knew I had gone too far, but seeing her there crying on the floor… I couldn’t deal. I refused to deal with it. She made it seem like it was a betrayal against her, that it was all about her and it wasn’t! Does she think I enjoy being forced to seduce anyone who dazzles me with a damned smile? In a sense, it’d a forced arrangement, no matter if I go willingly. No, of course not. All she considers me is a damned whore.

I wasn’t going to end up destroying myself for her, or for anyone. I told her as much and walked out. I chose a mare for my father’s ritual and he performed it and…

I had four legs, a tail, and damn am I hot as a human. And as a horse. I gave my father the best horsey glare I could as he did the change for the others, Tal being suspicious. Why couldn’t she just accept anything? Wuyi gave me an odd look, and I figured it’d be best to avoid the others for the day. I explored my childhood on the island, splashed through rivers, raced over fields, outran a Kelpie stallion… and fell, exhausted and dreamt of Enbarr. When I awoke again, I was human. I was myself, and I knew that Enbarr’s majesty still flowed through my blood.

My first action was to find Father and talk. About everything. So I did. Maybe I’ll discuss that in another entry. Maybe. It’s still… hard to take in, and now I’m not sure if I’m even worthy of a new life. But I’ll try.

Three Dog Night

If I felt that the arrival and departure a day afterwards in Huitzilopochtli’s palace had been an emotional rollercoaster, then the return to my childhood home was a hurricane. Father, Manannan mac Lir, was jovial and pleasant. Unlike the aloof pride I saw in Huitzilopochtli’s eyes for Tal, I felt that there was perhaps a more informal bond between him and I. Whereas Huitzilopochtli tried to bribe us to keep us in the realm of the dead, Father agreed to restore us to life, in exchange for a quest.

I expected that much, we were Danann after all.

The quest itself seemed simple on the outside. Rescue the horses stolen; especially the prized stallion Enbarr. I tried to cut out a step by questioning the dead Alpha, but apparently my control over the dead wasn't as strong as I’d liked because the answers were lies and tricks.

We tracked the wolves to their den. Ben and Rupper came up with a plan to distract the wolves while a team went in to rescue the horses. I was disappointed that I wasn’t chosen to go in… they were my father’s horses, shouldn’t I have done more than stand and wait? Still, Tal was being tetchy and I really didn’t want another fight bubbling up. So I agreed and sat back to wait for everyone else to complete the quest I was supposed to have a part in.

Tal had reason to stay in the woods. She was far too wounded. Rupper was the key to luring the wolves, so he had to stay. I… just twiddled my thumbs and thought of questions to ask of Mona and Father when I returned.

It was a while before one of the wolves broke away from the chaos at the den to try and escape with horseflesh. I sent him scurrying back into his companion’s waiting jaws and couldn’t help but smirk at the display when I heard growling behind me.

Thinking a wolf had circled around, I turned to see Cerberus. Cerberus. All six tons, three heads, drooling fire of him and he was not happy. Rupper tried to soothe him. First with words, then with song, and Cerberus knocked each attempt from him. Tal distracted him by running crazily through the woods.

I realized that running like a chicken with it’s head cut off would only aggravate the beast further and grabbed for Rupper’s guitar. He soothed Hypnos with the guitar, and he was going to try the same with Cerberus. Perhaps I could do the same. So I sang. I poured everything into my song as I slowly approached the rampaging hellhound and ... it worked! Cerberus collapsed, snoring, and we extracted Rupper and he took over the singing. Which was fine, because he had the pipes for it.

Cerberus contained properly, I turned to the fight spilling out of the cave, but the three there had it handled. The hag, an ugly blue witch of a woman who reminded me of the Formorians I vaguely remembered, cursed Ben to always wither before victory and then promptly died. Worked for me, plus that spiteful nature in me was sated when the curse would punish both Tal and Ben.

It’s unfair and it’s cruel and I’m trying to understand why being so callous is coming so easily to me… but I was glad to see her suffer a bit. She was treating me unfairly for the situation at Huitzilopochtli’s place and I was growing tired of her sniping about it. This would at least give her her own curse to worry about.

After that, we headed in to tend to the horses, tired, but victorious. 

Short, Choppy, and Wet.

Sometimes I wonder if Tal was an actress in our past lives. She loves the dramatic. After stabbing herself, Wuyi struggled to keep her alive as we landed on the shores of the Emerald Isle. My home. Fate, luck, or cunning design brought us here but I didn’t care for the moment. We needed Tal to be better and so after a struggle with Sawu’s silk, we lowered her to the water and I brought her along the land to find Ben.

We heard gunshots and I saw the birds circling in the sky a few miles inward. Tal was babbling nonsense to me as we approached, and once there, I saw Ben accosting a harmless old woman. After a quick conversation where she said she knew me, we were brought inside and promptly fed. It wasn’t as extravagant as Big H’s pad, but it was more… cozy. Comfy. It was quaint and home-like and I adored it. I told Mon a bit of what happened to us and our memories and she revealed that she was my step-mother. After that, I wanted to know everything. Especially the recipe to this delicious soup.

We spent a while chatting, while Rupper properly stitched up Tal. Then Ben announced we had wolves, big wolves, attacking the horses. Between him, Rupper, and Tal, they managed to kill the leader and scare off the rest. Tal tore out her stitches and Ben decided he was too good to walk on the earth and so started flying. FLYING. Lovely. He’s the grumpiest angel I know at any rate.

Tal was patched up. Again. And Ben announced we had another visitor. Again.

Said visitor turned out to be the owner of the house and… my father.

I’m not sure if I was excited or terrified.