Interlude

I took this after my talk with Father. The rest of the Band wasn't around and I felt like still having some alone time with my own thoughts. I'm reading and re-reading Father's notebook in preparation for our next talk later. Hopefully with less revelations.

I know the talk recently has been shucking off one's old fate, and I know that we've been using that for Kathy's rehabilitation but what if Tal's view is correct? You can't change evil, or callous, or fate, or whatever you want to say makes you what you are. She says it's Kathy's fate to become whatever she is/was.

Does that mean that I'm going to revert too? Now that I have connections and faces and words linking the whats of my personality to the whys, will I fall back into being that mouse waiting for the hawk to swoop in and claim me? Father said she twisted fate for me, and was after me for years. What if whatever she did is ingrained and I can't escape it? Much like Tal's harping on about Kathy.

I know I will strive to the best of my ability to make sure that Father is always proud of me, but beyond that? I think I've already made my choice. I chose the geas over Tal's needs. I chose it over Wuyi even though right now Wuyi's more than happy to come along for the ride, so to speak.

If Tal is right, and every choice we make concerning Kathy leads to the same fated conclusion, just with a different path to get there ... then I guess I already know the answer.

Pity.